OF COURSE, WE ALREADY KNOW THE GROUND RULES

The Ground Rules

Rule # 1: In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs that attack first, and it's always Israel who defends itself. This is called "retaliation".



Rule # 2: The Arabs, whether Palestinians or Lebanese, are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "terrorism".

Rule # 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians; this is called "self-defense", or these days "collateral damage".

Rule # 4: When Israel kills too many civilians, the Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "reaction of the international community".

Rule # 5: Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even a limited number, not even 1 or 2.

Rule # 6: Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (Palestinians: around 10000 to date, 300 of which are children, Lebanese: 1000s to date, being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. All that is needed is the magic word: "terrorism".

Rule # 7: When you say "Hezbollah", always be sure to add "supported by Syria and Iran".

Rule # 8: When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK and other European countries", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict.

Rule # 9: When it comes to Israel, don't mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience of Fox.

Rule # 10: Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "neutral journalism".

Rule # 11: If you don't agree with these rules or if you favor the Arab side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion (isn't democracy wonderful?).

Photos; Britt Hume-Fox, Wolf Blitzer-CNN, Bill Kristol-Weekly Standard, David Horowitz, John Fund-Wall Street Journal, Jonah Goldberg-National Review, Charles Krauthammer, Carlson Tucker-MSNBC, Marty Peretz-The New Republic